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Jimmy Kimmel Counts Down the Days to the First Debate
Kimmel doubted that Donald Trump would stick to his game plan of not interrupting President Biden, saying, “His discipline is unmatched!”
By Trish Bendix
Kimmel doubted that Donald Trump would stick to his game plan of not interrupting President Biden, saying, “His discipline is unmatched!”
By Trish Bendix
“Then they got a text from Trump that said, ‘Throuple?’” Fallon joked on Wednesday.
By Trish Bendix
“I’m starting to think Trump writes his name on buildings just so he can remember where he lives,” Jimmy Fallon said.
By Trish Bendix
“The sad thing is under MAGA law, his name is now Ronny Johnson,” Jon Stewart said after Trump referred to his former doctor, Ronny Jackson, by the wrong name.
By Trish Bendix
“They always return to the scene of the crime,” Jimmy Kimmel said after the former president met with House Republicans on Thursday.
By Trish Bendix
“Yeah, the president is in Italy for the G7 Summit, or as Fox News put it: ‘Biden Flees Country After Hunter Convicted,’” Fallon said.
By Trish Bendix
“Wow, frankly, I’m shocked — we’re actually enforcing gun laws in America,” Jordan Klepper said on Tuesday’s “Daily Show.”
By Trish Bendix
“Things got off to a rough start when Trump offered the probation officer $130,000,” Jimmy Fallon joked.
By Trish Bendix
“He likes people who are rich and have hot wives,” Fallon said. “Well, at least he’s taking this seriously.”
By Trish Bendix
“You heard that right, ladies and gentlemen: Joe Biden is old,” Colbert said of a Wall Street Journal article on the president’s aptitude.
By Trish Bendix
“The Daily Show” host Ronny Chieng joked that the president “has decided to start trying to win the election” with a temporary order affecting asylum seekers.
By Trish Bendix
Colbert showed off his “Countdown to Sentencing Advent Calendar,” which contained a bottle of bourbon.
By Trish Bendix
“Did this guy get a two-for-one deal at the MAGA flag store?” Michael Kosta said of the Supreme Court justice on Thursday’s “The Daily Show.”
By Trish Bendix
President Biden “sent an elite team of ultraliberal F.B.I. agents to assassinate Donald Trump, but somehow he slipped out the back door,” Kimmel joked on Wednesday.
By Trish Bendix
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Jimmy Fallon said Trump wanted to take the stand in his criminal case on Tuesday, “but then he saw it was three steps without a handrail.”
By Trish Bendix
Colbert joked that Alito “dropped a dime on his gal” when the Supreme Court justice blamed his wife for the flying of an upside-down American flag at their home shortly after Jan. 6.
By Trish Bendix
Meyers joked that “sitting front row at the Trump trial must be like the MAGA version of sitting courtside at a Knicks game.”
By Trish Bendix
“Just like that, they’re going head to head, toe to toe, mano a mango,” Stephen Colbert said of two forthcoming presidential debates in June and September.
By Trish Bendix
Fallon thanked his wife, his kids, “and, most of all, my lawyer, Michael Cohen.”
By Trish Bendix
Michael Cohen’s testimony gave the host plenty of fodder, especially when he described Donald Trump speculating about going back “on the market.”
By Trish Bendix
“Team Trump spent much of the day trying to paint Daniels as a sleazy, money-grubbing liar, which, if that is true, you can see why they hit it off,” Kimmel said.
By Trish Bendix
“This explains everything, and nothing,” Stephen Colbert said about the presidential hopeful’s newly reported parasite.
By Trish Bendix
The host disagreed with a judge who said Daniels could skip some of the specifics of her encounter with Donald Trump. “Some of us are trying to host a show here, OK?”
By Trish Bendix
Jimmy Kimmel joked that Donald Trump will likely end up in jail “because he can’t stop talking about the case. It’s like trying to get a dog to stop licking itself.”
By Trish Bendix
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“I think I can keep Trump awake during the trial,” Kimmel said after learning that text messages about his talk show were entered as evidence in the case.
By Trish Bendix
“Does he even wear suits to court or just footie pajamas and a nightcap?” Meyers joked on Wednesday.
By Trish Bendix
“I know $9,000 might not seem like a lot to a successful businessman, but what about to Trump?” Colbert said of the court-imposed penalty for violating a gag order.
By Trish Bendix
“No! Bad, psycho governor! No! Sit down!” Colbert said on Monday’s “Late Show,” spraying water from a bottle.
By Trish Bendix
“Donald Trump somehow made a lot of money from a company that makes none,” Kimmel said.
By Trish Bendix
“Has Trump ever considered paying himself hush money?” Jordan Klepper asked on Tuesday’s “Daily Show.”
By Trish Bendix
“Are you trying to make this O.J.? It’s not a chase — he’s commuting,” Stewart said on Monday’s “Daily Show.”
By Trish Bendix
“Being the speaker of the House nowadays is like being Leonardo DiCaprio’s girlfriend — you hang on as long as you can,” Jimmy Kimmel said.
By Trish Bendix
“Ranta Claus got up bright and early to post 165 venomous words about yours truly,” Kimmel said on Donald Trump’s day off from his criminal trial on Wednesday.
By Trish Bendix
Kimmel said that former president Donald J. Trump is starring “as the defendant in his first of many criminal trials to come.”
By Trish Bendix
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After the ex-president seemed to fall asleep in court, Jimmy Kimmel said it was “nice to see even Donald Trump is exhausted by Donald Trump.”
By Trish Bendix
“You know what they say: If at first, second, third, fourth, fifth, sixth, seventh, eighth, ninth or tenth you don’t succeed, cry, cry again,” Jimmy Kimmel said.
By Trish Bendix
“That is crazy — but remember it’s Arizona, so it’s a dry crazy,” Stephen Colbert said of the state’s 160-year-old ban on abortion, newly reinstated.
By Trish Bendix
“The Late Show” host changed up the adage about spring after Donald Trump had a bad day in court.
By Trish Bendix
“This is America, buddy. Every day is ‘Christian Visibility Day,’” Desi Lydic said on Wednesday’s “Daily Show.”
By Trish Bendix
Colbert said that after the order was amended, the former president “paused, listened to his critics and launched another attack on the judge’s daughter, this time with photos.”
By Trish Bendix
Jimmy Fallon joked that “Truth Social stock tanked so fast, they’re changing the name to Twitter.”
By Trish Bendix
“I’m willing to bet most of the people investing in this company have never even used Truth Social,” Meyers said of Trump’s social media outlet on Thursday.
By Trish Bendix
“In case you’re unfamiliar with McDaniel, she is terrible,” Stephen Colbert said of the former Republican National Committee chairwoman.
By Trish Bendix
“How does that thing not burst into flames immediately?” Klepper joked of Donald Trump’s “latest very classy business venture” on Tuesday’s “Daily Show.’
By Trish Bendix
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“It’s the first time someone’s ever heard, ‘Good news, you only owe $175 million,’” Jimmy Fallon said after the ex-president’s bond was reduced.
By Trish Bendix
“If Donald Trump wants immunity, he should drink bleach like he told us to do when we wanted immunity,” Kimmel said.
By Trish Bendix
Employing Paul Manafort, a former campaign adviser who was convicted of fraud, “will make Trump seem less fraudy by comparison,” the “Tonight Show” host reasoned.
By Trish Bendix
”What’s still a mystery is why a bunch of top secret documents were taken by a president who, by all accounts, does not read,” Jimmy Kimmel said.
By Trish Bendix
“This is like iPhone ‘Footloose,’ and there’s no Kevin Bacon to save us,” Jimmy Kimmel joked.
By Trish Bendix
Colbert objected to Robert K. Hur calling President Biden a “well-meaning, elderly man with a poor memory” in a report on the handling of classified documents.
By Trish Bendix
Why did Donald Trump go online during the Oscars to criticize Kimmel’s performance as host? Kimmel thinks he was upset because no one had mentioned his name.
By Trish Bendix
“Depending on what happens in November, next year might just be a Kid Rock concert and an immigrant catapult,” Stephen Colbert joked.
By Trish Bendix
“The Daily Show” guest host bemoaned that Haley dropped out after President Joe Biden and former President Donald Trump crushed Super Tuesday “like it was an audition for a Life Alert commercial.”
By Trish Bendix
“Spoiler: It’s Biden/Trump,” Stephen Colbert said. “It’s always been Biden/Trump. It will always be Biden/Trump.”
By Trish Bendix
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Colbert joked that justices were “again shoving their gavels up the election” by ruling that former President Donald Trump can appear on all state ballots in 2024.
By Trish Bendix
Aggravated by the latest delay in Donald Trump’s election subversion trial, Colbert unleashed “the power vested in me as a late-night host” against the court.
By Trish Bendix
The senator is giving up his G.O.P. leadership post. “McConnell just turned 82, so that can only mean one thing: He’s running for president,” Jimmy Fallon said.
By Trish Bendix
“Not the most dignified way to deliver world-changing news,” Michael Kosta said on Tuesday’s “Daily Show.’
By Trish Bendix
After two “very controversial” appearances behind the “Daily Show” desk, Stewart decided to dial it down a bit for his third.
By Trish Bendix
“I have much to learn,” Stewart said. “‘Disguise your deception and capitulation to power as noble and moral and based in freedom.’ Yes, master.”
By Trish Bendix
“The only way to follow all of the action was to have multiple TVs,” Stephen Colbert said. “That’s why I watched all the proceedings today at a Buffalo Wild Wings.”
By Trish Bendix
Kimmel joked that New York’s special House election results had to be verified “to make sure the winner wasn’t George Santos in disguise.”
By Trish Bendix
“Oh man, poor Eric,” Jimmy Kimmel said after Trump recommended that his son’s wife, Lara, be named co-chair of the Republican National Committee.
By Trish Bendix
Nearly nine years after signing off as host of the late night show, Stewart returned to his seat. “We’re going to have so much we are going to talk about this year,” he said Monday.
By Trish Bendix
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Meyers said Trump lacked “any sense of irony or self-awareness” when “he claimed it would be an attack on democracy to remove him from the ballot for attacking democracy.”
By Trish Bendix
“Nikki Haley’s campaign message is ‘Nobody’s better than me,’ and Nevada agreed,” Stephen Colbert said after Tuesday’s presidential primary.
By Trish Bendix
“It was a devastating moment for Trump, especially when Melania started clapping,” Jimmy Kimmel said.
By Trish Bendix
“If you thought she was on your TV a lot last night, well, wait till next Sunday,” Fallon said after the pop star’s big night at the Grammys.
By Trish Bendix
A new poll has President Biden leading former President Trump, thanks to 58 percent of women surveyed supporting Biden.
By Trish Bendix
As the ex-president takes on the pop megastar, Jimmy Kimmel predicts this might be the offense that finally brings down Donald Trump.
By Trish Bendix
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