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Best of Late Night
Late Night Weighs In on Donald Trump’s $9,000 Fine
“I know $9,000 might not seem like a lot to a successful businessman, but what about to Trump?” Colbert said of the court-imposed penalty for violating a gag order.
Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.
Spare Change
On Tuesday, the judge in Donald Trump’s hush money trial held the former president in contempt, fining him $9,000 for violating a gag order on nine separate occasions.
“I know $9,000 might not seem like a lot to a successful businessman, but what about to Trump?” Stephen Colbert joked.
“The judge lamented that that is the most he could legally fine him, warning that if Trump keeps violating the gag order, ‘jail may be a necessary punishment.’ I don’t know if it’s necessary for Trump, but I need it.” — STEPHEN COLBERT
“Even though I’m not on Trump’s side, I don’t think it’s fair. This trial is about the fact that he paid a woman to be quiet. Now if he isn’t quiet, he has to pay them? It makes no sense. They’re using his thing against him. It’s like, like Jesus, a carpenter who they nailed to a cross. I mean, think about it. Read about it in your Trump-brand Bibles, OK?” — JIMMY KIMMEL
“The judge also told Trump that if he continues to violate the gag order, he might lock him up. Melania was like, ‘Don’t let the judge tell you what to do!’” — JIMMY KIMMEL
“Trump spends $9,000 at the Wendy’s drive-through.” — JIMMY KIMMEL
“Trump was like, ‘But I get the 10th one free, right?’” — JIMMY FALLON
The Punchiest Punchlines (Trump’s Kids Edition)
“I forgot to tell you guys, today was Take Your Kid to Court Day.” — JIMMY FALLON
“The good news for Trump is that one of his family members finally showed up at court today. The bad news is it was Eric.” — JIMMY KIMMEL
“Eric Trump attended his dad’s porn star hush money trial today, which in the Trump family is as close as you get to playing catch in the yard.” — JIMMY KIMMEL
“Today, the judge ruled that he will cancel court on May 17 so Trump can go to Barron’s high school graduation, which is funny because now Trump has to go to Barron’s high school graduation.” — JIMMY KIMMEL
“He woke up from a dead sleep in court and yelled, ‘Objection!’” — JIMMY KIMMEL
The Bits Worth Watching
Hannah Einbinder, the star of “Hacks,” recalled her first time on television in a conversation with Stephen Colbert on Tuesday.
What We’re Excited About on Wednesday Night
The rapper Doja Cat will appear on Wednesday’s “Tonight Show.”
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