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Best of Late Night
Jimmy Kimmel Wants the Dirty Details From Stormy Daniels
The host disagreed with a judge who said Daniels could skip some of the specifics of her encounter with Donald Trump. “Some of us are trying to host a show here, OK?”
Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.
A Stormy Day in Court
Stormy Daniels took the stand to testify in former President Donald Trump’s criminal trial on Tuesday. Jimmy Kimmel called it “a very Stormy day for everyone’s favorite former president.”
“The prosecution today called their star witness — their porn star witness.” — JIMMY KIMMEL
“Stormy Daniels took the stand this morning and, for Donald, I can only imagine, the nervous farting was off the charts.” — JIMMY KIMMEL
“Even the judge was pumped. He was like, ‘Please welcome to the stand, Stormy Daniels!’” — JIMMY FALLON
“The judge said Stormy could testify about her sexual relationship with Trump, but also said, ‘We don’t need to know the details.’ And see, now that’s where I have to object. Yes, we do need to know the details. Some of us are trying to host a show here, OK?” — JIMMY KIMMEL
“Ahead of Stormy Daniels’s testimony today in former President Trump’s criminal hush-money trial, one of the prosecutors told Judge Juan Merchan that Daniels will not describe Trump’s genitalia because it would violate the gag order.” — SETH MEYERS
“She said they had sex in the missionary position, and that Trump told her she reminded him of his daughter. Feels like we should lock him up just for that, right?” — JIMMY KIMMEL
“During former President Trump’s criminal hush-money trial, adult film star Stormy Daniels testified that she and Trump had sex ‘in missionary position.’ ‘Don’t even think about it!’ shouted Judge Merchan to the sketch artist.” — SETH MEYERS
The Punchiest Punchlines (Honeybunch Edition)
“Adult film star Stormy Daniels testified today in former President Trump’s criminal hush-money trial. So Trump technically slept with her again.” — SETH MEYERS, referring to reports of Trump falling asleep during the trial
“During former President Trump’s criminal hush-money trial, adult film star Stormy Daniels testified that she spanked Trump with a rolled-up magazine that had his face on the cover. And I think it’s weird that the hotel even had a copy of ‘Bankruptcy Aficionado.’” — SETH MEYERS
“That poor, poor magazine. Hasn’t print media suffered enough?” — JORDAN KLEPPER
“There it is, his presidential legacy.” — STEPHEN COLBERT
“We also learned that Trump used to call Stormy ‘honeybunch,’ which, interestingly, is also a term Melania would use at Mar-a-Lago, as in, ‘Honey, bunch of F.B.I. agents at door to see you.’” — JIMMY KIMMEL
“Honeybunch? And you guys think Biden is too old?” — SETH MEYERS
The Bits Worth Watching
The author Lexi Freiman discussed writing about narcissism in “The Book of Ayn” on Tuesday’s “Daily Show.”
What We’re Excited About on Wednesday Night
The Indigo Girls will perform on Wednesday’s “Late Night with Seth Meyers.”
Also, Check This Out
The basketball star Brittney Griner detailed her harrowing time spent in a Russian prison in her new memoir, “Coming Home.”
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