Jimmy Kimmel

Kimmel doubted that Donald Trump would stick to his game plan of not interrupting President Biden, saying, “His discipline is unmatched!”

“Then they got a text from Trump that said, ‘Throuple?’” Fallon joked on Wednesday.

“I’m starting to think Trump writes his name on buildings just so he can remember where he lives,” Jimmy Fallon said.

“The sad thing is under MAGA law, his name is now Ronny Johnson,” Jon Stewart said after Trump referred to his former doctor, Ronny Jackson, by the wrong name.

“They always return to the scene of the crime,” Jimmy Kimmel said after the former president met with House Republicans on Thursday.

“Yeah, the president is in Italy for the G7 Summit, or as Fox News put it: ‘Biden Flees Country After Hunter Convicted,’” Fallon said.

“Wow, frankly, I’m shocked — we’re actually enforcing gun laws in America,” Jordan Klepper said on Tuesday’s “Daily Show.”

“He likes people who are rich and have hot wives,” Fallon said. “Well, at least he’s taking this seriously.”

“You heard that right, ladies and gentlemen: Joe Biden is old,” Colbert said of a Wall Street Journal article on the president’s aptitude.

“The Daily Show” host Ronny Chieng joked that the president “has decided to start trying to win the election” with a temporary order affecting asylum seekers.

Colbert showed off his “Countdown to Sentencing Advent Calendar,” which contained a bottle of bourbon.

President Biden “sent an elite team of ultraliberal F.B.I. agents to assassinate Donald Trump, but somehow he slipped out the back door,” Kimmel joked on Wednesday.

Jimmy Fallon said Trump wanted to take the stand in his criminal case on Tuesday, “but then he saw it was three steps without a handrail.”

Colbert joked that Alito “dropped a dime on his gal” when the Supreme Court justice blamed his wife for the flying of an upside-down American flag at their home shortly after Jan. 6.

“Team Trump spent much of the day trying to paint Daniels as a sleazy, money-grubbing liar, which, if that is true, you can see why they hit it off,” Kimmel said.

The host disagreed with a judge who said Daniels could skip some of the specifics of her encounter with Donald Trump. “Some of us are trying to host a show here, OK?”

Jimmy Kimmel joked that Donald Trump will likely end up in jail “because he can’t stop talking about the case. It’s like trying to get a dog to stop licking itself.”

“I think I can keep Trump awake during the trial,” Kimmel said after learning that text messages about his talk show were entered as evidence in the case.

“Does he even wear suits to court or just footie pajamas and a nightcap?” Meyers joked on Wednesday.

“I know $9,000 might not seem like a lot to a successful businessman, but what about to Trump?” Colbert said of the court-imposed penalty for violating a gag order.

“No! Bad, psycho governor! No! Sit down!” Colbert said on Monday’s “Late Show,” spraying water from a bottle.

“Donald Trump somehow made a lot of money from a company that makes none,” Kimmel said.

“Has Trump ever considered paying himself hush money?” Jordan Klepper asked on Tuesday’s “Daily Show.”

“Are you trying to make this O.J.? It’s not a chase — he’s commuting,” Stewart said on Monday’s “Daily Show.”

“Being the speaker of the House nowadays is like being Leonardo DiCaprio’s girlfriend — you hang on as long as you can,” Jimmy Kimmel said.

“Ranta Claus got up bright and early to post 165 venomous words about yours truly,” Kimmel said on Donald Trump’s day off from his criminal trial on Wednesday.

Kimmel said that former president Donald J. Trump is starring “as the defendant in his first of many criminal trials to come.”

After the ex-president seemed to fall asleep in court, Jimmy Kimmel said it was “nice to see even Donald Trump is exhausted by Donald Trump.”

“You know what they say: If at first, second, third, fourth, fifth, sixth, seventh, eighth, ninth or tenth you don’t succeed, cry, cry again,” Jimmy Kimmel said.

“That is crazy — but remember it’s Arizona, so it’s a dry crazy,” Stephen Colbert said of the state’s 160-year-old ban on abortion, newly reinstated.

Meyers said the dinner menu at a Palm Beach campaign event for Donald Trump “had so many foreign words, I’m surprised he didn’t have it deported.”

“The Late Show” host changed up the adage about spring after Donald Trump had a bad day in court.

“This is America, buddy. Every day is ‘Christian Visibility Day,’” Desi Lydic said on Wednesday’s “Daily Show.”

Colbert said that after the order was amended, the former president “paused, listened to his critics and launched another attack on the judge’s daughter, this time with photos.”

Jimmy Fallon joked that “Truth Social stock tanked so fast, they’re changing the name to Twitter.”

Kimmel’s advice to Donald Trump’s potential running mates: “If he asks you to run, run!”

“If Donald Trump wants immunity, he should drink bleach like he told us to do when we wanted immunity,” Kimmel said.

Employing Paul Manafort, a former campaign adviser who was convicted of fraud, “will make Trump seem less fraudy by comparison,” the “Tonight Show” host reasoned.

“Donald Trump has said I’m not talented so many times, Eric is starting to get jealous,” Kimmel said after the ex-president bashed him (again) on Fox News.

”What’s still a mystery is why a bunch of top secret documents were taken by a president who, by all accounts, does not read,” Jimmy Kimmel said.

“This is like iPhone ‘Footloose,’ and there’s no Kevin Bacon to save us,” Jimmy Kimmel joked.

Colbert objected to Robert K. Hur calling President Biden a “well-meaning, elderly man with a poor memory” in a report on the handling of classified documents.

Why did Donald Trump go online during the Oscars to criticize Kimmel’s performance as host? Kimmel thinks he was upset because no one had mentioned his name.

ABC’s telecast of the 96th Academy Awards on Sunday drew 19.5 million viewers, according to Nielsen.

Our movie critic looks back on the Academy Awards.

Yes, that was a real post by the former president.

The late-night TV host celebrated the blockbuster nominated films and poked fun at many of their stars.

Jimmy Kimmel will return as the host. Here’s who else you can expect to see tonight.

Hosts who have to entertain insiders at the ceremony and outsiders watching at home. Presenters who change their minds. No wonder the bits are awkward.

Aggravated by the latest delay in Donald Trump’s election subversion trial, Colbert unleashed “the power vested in me as a late-night host” against the court.

The senator is giving up his G.O.P. leadership post. “McConnell just turned 82, so that can only mean one thing: He’s running for president,” Jimmy Fallon said.

“Not the most dignified way to deliver world-changing news,” Michael Kosta said on Tuesday’s “Daily Show.’

“The only way to follow all of the action was to have multiple TVs,” Stephen Colbert said. “That’s why I watched all the proceedings today at a Buffalo Wild Wings.”

Kimmel joked that New York’s special House election results had to be verified “to make sure the winner wasn’t George Santos in disguise.”

“Oh man, poor Eric,” Jimmy Kimmel said after Trump recommended that his son’s wife, Lara, be named co-chair of the Republican National Committee.

Meyers said Trump lacked “any sense of irony or self-awareness” when “he claimed it would be an attack on democracy to remove him from the ballot for attacking democracy.”

“Nikki Haley’s campaign message is ‘Nobody’s better than me,’ and Nevada agreed,” Stephen Colbert said after Tuesday’s presidential primary.

“It was a devastating moment for Trump, especially when Melania started clapping,” Jimmy Kimmel said.

“If you thought she was on your TV a lot last night, well, wait till next Sunday,” Fallon said after the pop star’s big night at the Grammys.

A new poll has President Biden leading former President Trump, thanks to 58 percent of women surveyed supporting Biden.

As the ex-president takes on the pop megastar, Jimmy Kimmel predicts this might be the offense that finally brings down Donald Trump.

Is the N.F.L. rigged? Is Taylor Swift a psy-op? Kimmel says that “this nonsense is now everywhere your angry grandpa goes.”

“We’re smack-dab in the heart of primary season, and Donald Trump is out there trying to win over the voters that matter most: his juries,” Stephen Colbert said.

Jimmy Kimmel joked that Donald Trump beat Nikki Haley by 11 points and that he’s “also leading Haley by double digits in felony charges, 91 to zero.”

Kimmel said Republicans had a choice between “the woman who would become their party’s first-ever female nominee for president or the first guy on trial for defamation related to sexual assault.”

The now-former presidential candidate “knew it was time to go four months after the rest of us did,” said Jimmy Fallon.

“He can’t even control an umbrella,” Seth Meyers said of the former president on Thursday.

“Yep, Ramaswamy took the stage and praised Trump for eight minutes,” Fallon said. “Then he was, like, ‘Wait, Donald, this is your speech. Sorry!’”

“Even though he barely spent any time in Iowa, it somehow made voters love him more,” Jimmy Kimmel said. “It’s the same strategy he used raising Eric and Don Jr.”

A judge initially denied Trump the chance to speak at his criminal fraud trial, “but, as 27 women can tell you, Trump doesn’t take no for an answer,” Stephen Colbert said on Thursday.

“That is a terrible idea, and please, Jesus, let it happen,” Colbert said of the former president’s initial desire to deliver his own closing argument in his fraud trial.

Jimmy Fallon joked that Trump has so many trials that “at this point, the courtroom sketch artist doesn’t even draw him — she just traces the grooves in her desk.”

Kimmel said although the N.F.L. star may believe that Kimmel is linked to Jeffrey Epstein, it’s more likely that Rodgers “is mad at me for making fun of his topknot.”

Rodgers, the Jets quarterback, suggested during an appearance on “The Pat McAfee Show” that Kimmel had a connection to Jeffrey Epstein, leading Kimmel to threaten legal action.

“The Daily Show” guest host said that impeaching President Biden would “be a terrible precedent to set — I don’t want to see Tom Hanks go to jail.”

Even Republicans don’t seem to know what it’s about, hosts said. “You can’t impeach someone for falling asleep during ‘Wheel of Fortune,’” said Jimmy Kimmel.

Giuliani’s lawyer told the jury in his defamation trial that awarding $43 million in damages would mean “the end of him.” Penn called that “a best-case scenario.”

Biden is accused of living extravagantly while evading taxes. Kimmel described his alleged spending as an “early 2000s Charlie Sheen-caliber performance.”

The candidate trumpeted several during the latest G.O.P. debate, “including the far-out idea that Vivek Ramaswamy could become president,” Seth Meyers joked.

Trish Bendix, who writes the Best of Late Night column, reflects on years of watching and covering talk shows that air after dark.

The “Tonight Show” host questioned the checkup results, saying that “Trump’s the only guy who gets his cardio in by storming out of courtrooms.”

Eight years after retiring from the CBS show, the former late-night host sat down with his successor, Stephen Colbert.

The “Late Night” host joked that Santos’s campaign fund-supported spending looks like “the shopping list of a 98-year-old oil tycoon’s 20-year-old wife.”

Colbert said President Biden and China’s leader, Xi Jinping, had a lot to catch up on: “trade tensions, global flash points, who got hot over the summer.”

It will be the late-night comedian’s fourth time as M.C. of the awards ceremony, which won back some viewers last year.

Late night hosts couldn’t resist joking about Senator Markwayne Mullin challenging the Teamsters leader Sean M. O’Brien to a brawl.

Jimmy Fallon joked that the Republican senator’s decision to suspend his presidential campaign “has really shaken up the race for fifth place.”

“Oh, yeah, there was name-calling, wild rants and personal attacks. Even Trump was watching like, ‘Game recognize game,’” Jimmy Fallon said of the event.

Kimmel called the five candidates in the latest G.O.P. face-off “a Who’s Who of who has no chance to beat Donald Trump.”

Fallon joked that “tomorrow at 9 p.m., CBS has ‘The Amazing Race,’ and NBC has the opposite.”