I Want to Marry Someone Who's Latine Like Me — That Shouldn't Be Controversial

This past April, Bad Bunny and Myke Towers released their steamy song "Adivino," which had the internet buzzing and fans dissecting every lyric. One of the lines where Benito references his previous relationship with Kendall Jenner went viral almost immediately, and it resonated particularly with Latines:

The lyrics read: "Yo era fiel a tus ojos y a tus labios leal. Pero no, no somos igual, si. Tú fuiste uno de mis amores, yo solamente fui otro de tus ex. A veces me río leyendo los textos. A veces me río, pero es del estrés. No sé cuándo fue que murió el interés. No sé si un 'te amo' vale lo mismo cuando es en inglés." ("You were loyal to your eyes and lips, but no, we're not the same. You were one of my loves, I was just another ex. Sometimes I laugh reading the texts, sometimes I laugh, but it's from the stress. I don't know when the interest died. I don't know if an 'I love you' feels the same when it's in English.")

Instagram and TikTok exploded with Latines referencing the song, using it to highlight the power of Spanish, a romance language — and a true love language for many Spanish-speaking Latines. The lyrics illustrated something else: as our nation becomes more racially and ethnically diverse, interracial and intercultural dating is on the rise. The percentage of married-couple households that are interracial or interethnic grew across the United States from 7.4 to 10.2 percent from 2000 to 2012-2016, with the largest of interracial/interethnic married-couple combinations being non-Hispanic whites married to Hispanics, which increased in 43.2 percent of counties.

While I'm open to love regardless of background, I would prefer if my happily ever after involved a Latino partner. Some religious communities prioritize partnerships that share a faith, as do certain cultural groups who prefer marrying within their ethnicity. My preference isn't about race. One of the beautiful things about being Latine is that we aren't tied to one particular racial box. Our culture is a vibrant tapestry of cultures, languages, races, and ethnicities. It's a big part of why my preference for a Latino partner relies more on shared experiences.

Over the past few years, I've realized how my Latine identity and culture are woven into my being. I don't want to constantly explain that to my partner. I crave someone who understands the subtle nuances, the inside jokes, the Spanish language, and the shared history that comes with being of Latin American descent. I don't necessarily want to explain to a non-Latino partner some of the Latine traditions I grew up with, like eating 12 grapes at midnight on New Year's Eve. Or why parents use the phrase "sana sana colita de rana" to comfort children who are hurt or in pain.

We live in a country where equal treatment isn't always guaranteed, and positive representation is a constant battle. So, having a partner who fundamentally understands that matters to me. Spanish feels like home, even though English is the first language for many of us because it is still the language many of us use when speaking with our families.

I crave comfort food like Abuela's arroz con gandules, and it would be amazing to share that with someone who appreciates it just as much as I do. Sure, I love music of all genres, but nothing gets my hips swaying like Latin rhythms, and nothing ignites my soul like passionate Spanish lyrics. To me, it feels as if it's its own love language. There's a unique level of intimacy to being able to sing along with my partner and understand the lyrics to a bachata song with "sentimiento" by Anthony Santos, a romantic ballad by Luis Miguel, or even a modern love song by Rauw Alejandro.

Dating outside my culture hasn't always been smooth sailing. Code-switching, feeling fetishized or "othered" — these are experiences many Latinas share, particularly with white men. Apps like Chispa have even popped up to cater specifically to Latine connections. Mainstream apps like Hinge are catching on, too, offering ethnicity filters for dating preferences.

Previously, when I dated, ethnicity wasn't something I valued as much as connecting with someone who also comes from an immigrant family and can relate with me on the struggles that come with being a first-gen in this country. After ending a long-term relationship with someone who was of a different, non-Latino culture, being able to speak Spanglish with someone I love has become something that is very important to me. Maybe that's because of the legacy of colonization, political reasons, or simply because Spanish is a romance language. I've realized that something about professing your love in Spanish hits differently for me — in a way that English never could.

Ultimately, my dating preference isn't about race. It's about finding someone who reflects the vibrant tapestry of my heritage. It's about finding someone who understands the rhythm of my soul, the language of my heart, the comfort of my home — someone who gets the magic of "te amo."

Kimmy Dole is a contributor for PS Juntos known for her sharp insights and compelling storytelling. An entertainment enthusiast, Kimmy immerses herself in the glitz of the industry, delivering a captivating blend of celebrity interviews, insights from industry experts, and the latest pop culture trends. Her work offers readers a genuine and relatable perspective, especially when exploring the complexities of relationships.