The Bear’s Den, Weekly Tabloid News Edition, June 25, 2024

WE WANT YOU!

Would you like to show your Chicago Bears spirit to the world? I’m starting a feature where Windy City Gridiron readers can share pictures of themselves and their families and friends in Bears attire. Simply email a picture to me at the following address: denmasterken at aol dot com. The pictures need to be clear, and full resolution (i.e. full size from your phone if that’s how you take them). Include any description information you like along with the photo!

THE DAILY SPONGIE SPECIAL

NOT THE BEARRRSSSS

5 Mistakes People Always Make When Beheading A Vampire - Weekly World News - Here is a guide that will help you stay safe and sound when it’s time to chop off some vamp noggin.

Husband, Wife Caught In Infinite Loop Of Shouting 'WHAT?!' Back And Forth Across The House - Babylon Bee - HEATH, OH — Tragically, a local husband and wife became trapped in an infinite loop last week when they began shouting "WHAT?" repeatedly from across the house.

Steve Albini and the Ghost of Elvis Team Up for Musical Collab - Weekly World News - The iconic music producer Steve Albini has reportedly embarked on his most extraordinary project yet. In an astonishing development, he will be collaborating posthumously with the legendary Ghost of Elvis.

Thumbs-Up Emoji Man’s Sole Contribution To Group Text - Babylon Bee - BAKERSFIELD, CA — Local Man Brad Stephens contributed to his family’s ongoing group text Monday by sending a thumbs-up emoji.

Study Correlates Popularity Of ‘Deadliest Catch’ With Huge Spike In Children Named ‘Crab’ - The Onion - PHILADELPHIA—Noting an explosion in the frequency of the name in the years following the reality program’s debut, a new study published Monday found a correlation between the popularity of the Discovery Channel’s Deadliest Catch and the nation’s sharp uptick in children named Crab. “Looking at naming trends over the…

NASA Warns Space Hawk Has Swooped In And Picked Up Earth For Nest - The Onion - WASHINGTON—Sounding the alarm that a cosmic bird of prey had clamped its talons onto the planet, NASA warned Thursday that a space hawk had swooped in and picked up the Earth for its nest of hungry space chicks. “We are on high alert after our satellite imaging confirmed that a quite sizable space hawk has in fact…

A Dire Warning: Marine Biologists Are Sounding The Alarm That If Any More Red Lobsters Shut Down There Will Soon Be So Much Lobster Mass In The Ocean That Sea Levels Will Rise 20 Feet By 2025 - Clickhole - Marine biologists are sounding the alarm that if any more Red Lobsters shut down there will soon be so much lobster mass in the ocean that sea levels will rise 20 feet by 2025.

Incredible Breakthrough: This New AI Filter Shows You What You’d Look Like If You Weren’t A Boring Loser Who’s Always Messing Around With AI - Clickhole - This new AI filter shows you what you’d look like if you weren’t a boring loser who’s always messing around with AI.

POLISH SAUSAGE

What if the NFL expanded to 100 teams? Barnwell picks cities - ESPN - Let’s find homes for 100 professional football teams across America, including in Puerto Rico and Hawaii. Hey, we can dream, right?

IN CASE YOU MISSED IT ON WINDY CITY GRIDIRON

Bears Question of the Day: Who has the most to prove this season? - Windy City Gridiron - We have another Windy City Gridiron roundtable/2nd City Gridiron podcast question of the day!

Tracking Rome Odunze’s Rookie Season - Windy City Gridiron - Can Rome Odunze break some rookie receiving records?

Identifying Three Areas Of Need Where The Chicago Bears Could Still Upgrade - Windy City Gridiron - With the NFL offseason winding down and the anticipation for the 2024 NFL regular season ramping up, we’ll take a look at three areas where the Chicago Bears could still look to upgrade.

Ten Chicago Bears with the most to prove in 2024: #7 Velus Jones, Jr. - Windy City Gridiron - Velus Jones was on the list in 2023 and didn’t "prove it" but will the new kick-off rule breathe some new life Jones?

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