Rays 7, Twins 6: (10) The fall and rise and fall of the Minnesota Twins

Doing this inning by inning again because I’m sleepy and lazy. I promise next time I’ll actually sleep before the game so I can write something substantial.

First Inning:

• As is my tradition, I missed this inning because I was eating pickles and playing nerd video games.
• Nothing happened anyway.

Second Inning:

• Back to back doubles from Josh Lowe and Randy The Elder Scrolls 1: Arena puts the Rays on the board.
• SWR then gets 3 outs in a row, doing a good job of limiting the damage.
• Woods-Richardson being #78 brings me an endless source of weird enjoyment. The barely-fitting name combined with the spring training tier number just makes him feel like an underdog.
• Royce Lewis broke 60 feet of ribbon board last night lmao. Comrade Royce doing his duty to end light pollution.
• TC Bear sent him a bill, which is amazing. See you in court you ursine freak.
• Just kidding, TC, I love you.
• Santana singles for the first Twins hit.
• Kyle Farmer RBI double to tie the game! We got the unlikely hitters hitting tonight.

Third Inning:

• Alex Jackson leads off with a double before I realized the commercial break was over. Today is double day, it seems.
• A sac attack by the Rays moves Jackson over to 3rd with a flyout, and then home with another. Rays take the lead back.
• Manny Margot makes a nice little jumping catch out in left to end the inning. Nice to see the DFA candidates all contributing.
• I mean that in the nicest way possible.
• THE Royce Lewis hits another homerun! This man is impossible not to love. Brand new ballgame.

Fourth Inning:

• Randy Arozarena walks and steals a base. That’s basically just another double with extra steps, right?
• Apparently Max Kepler left the game in the first due to “neck spasms.” Hopefully he’s okay.
• Beautiful SWR slider strikes out Jose Siri to end the inning with no damage.
• The Carlos Santana renaissance continues with a double.
• Santana is my favorite Ninja Turtle.
• Lowe makes his best attempt to take out Siri’s ankles in shallow right, but just misses and catches the ball instead.

Fifth Inning:

• SWR strikes out 2 before giving up the requisite double to Yandere Diaz, who just barely slides in safe.
• Then he just strikes out the next guy. We stan Simeon in this household.
• Martin leads off with a walk, but then Larnach bounces into a double play. Credit where credit is due, that was perfectly executed by the Ray’s defense.
• Miranda singles to give THE Royce Lewis a chance to hit this inning.
• He strikes out. That’s my fault. I set that up. Sorry, Royce.

Sixth Inning:

• SWR gives up a lead off walk, but for once no runner reaches second.
• Boring inning.

Seventh Inning:

• Cole Sands replaces SWR.
• Caballero draws a one out walk and steals second. I’m starting to sweat, not gonna lie.
• Sands gets the 2nd out with his second strikeout. I believe in you Cole! Unless you screw up, then I always knew you were going to fail.
• Strikeout! Never doubted him for a second.
• Twins do absolutely nothing.
• Heading to the 8th still tied at 2 each.

Eighth Inning:

• Cory Provus pronounces his own name as “Probus” I swear. Does anyone else hear that? Is this some weird linguistic quirk I don’t understand?
• Like “Lowe” somehow being pronounced “Lau.”
• Steven Okert is in for the Twinks.
• A single and a stolen base and the Rays have another threat.
• Amed Rosario doubles and the Rays have the lead.
• Gosh Darnit.
• Jay Jackson of Jack Jayson or whatever comes in.
• Amed Rosario steals third extremely easily
• Dang.
• Jackson strikes out Arozarena!
• And DeLuca! Nifty little piece of relief pitching.
• Offense pls.
• Willi Castro leads off with a single! Let’s gooooo!
• Lewis walks, 2 on 1 out. Margot up.

He strikes out looking. Time for Jeffers.

• Strike 3 on what should have been ball 3. Fire all umps.

Ninth Inning:

• Siri leads off with a homerun. Euthanize me, pls.
• Jackson walks Jackson, losing the Jackson-off.
• 2-Run Diaz homerun. We losin’ this one fam.
• CARLOS SANTANA HOMERUN
• 2 RUN DONG JOSE MIRANDA HOLY BALLS
• We going extra, hahahaha.

Tenth Inning

• Single, Single, RBI Double play. Just like that the Rays are ahead again.
• Correa leads off the Twins half with a liner, and Royce is doubled off trying to reach third on an excellent throw from Siri.
• Jeffers keeps the dream alive with a 2 out single.
• Santana can not keep the dream alive. Another extra inning loss.
• :(

STUDS: SWR, Royce, Santana

DUDS: Bullpen

Comment of the Gamethread:

Matt Monitto riddling this one out:

R O Y C E
O C E A N
Y E A S T
C A S T E
E N T E R

Anyway baseball is banned. No more baseball.