Over 60, Single and Never Happier

Joy Lorton, 80, has been married and divorced four times.

“I grew up in the 1950s and ’60s, when everybody was supposed to get married and have kids, so I did that,” said Ms. Lorton, who lives in Olympia, Wash., and has three daughters, seven grandchildren and a gaggle of great-grandchildren.

But each of her marriages was marred by a different flavor of dysfunction, and since her last divorce in 2001, she has been devoutly and joyfully single. “It all goes back to the same word: freedom,” Ms. Lorton said.

Now, she chooses whom she wants to spend time with. And that could mean no one at all: “I really like my own company,” Ms. Lorton said.

Around 30 percent of adults in the United States over the age of 50 are single, according to a 2022 Pew survey, and despite the stigma that tends to surround both singleness and advanced age, many relish being on their own. Older singles were less likely than their younger counterparts to say they wanted to date or find a romantic relationship, and research suggests people’s satisfaction with being single tends to jump in middle age.

“People in their 60s and beyond who are single and flourishing is an untold story,” said Bella DePaulo, a social scientist who studies single life (and is a single 70-year-old herself). “And it’s a feel good story that shatters all of our stereotypes.”

Getting to know you.

Dr. DePaulo said that one major difference between being single in one’s 60s or beyond and being single when younger is the self-awareness and self-assurance that come with age. There is research to suggest that self-confidence peaks between the ages of 60 and 70.