It’s Beginning to Look a Lot Like Holiday Social Anxiety

A few years ago, during a prepandemic holiday celebration, several generations of my family were crammed, as usual, into the cozy kitchen of my parents’ New Jersey house. As everyone hollered, spilled drinks and accused each other of double-dipping chips, the clamor made me lightheaded.

I stole downstairs to the basement, blessedly cool and quiet, and took a few breaths.

“Hello,” a voice behind me said quietly. It was my father, leaning against the washing machine in the dark.

I squinted. “Dad? Is everything OK?”

“Yep,” he said cheerfully.

I realized we were doing the same thing: hiding.

I didn’t want to encroach on Dad’s refuge, so I pretended to look for an extra platter, then headed back upstairs.

We both knew that, even in the best of times, holiday social gatherings can be overwhelming.

Last winter, with the Covid-19 pandemic in full force, some families sat out the festivities, keeping celebrations with friends and family small or virtual. Some even admitted that the slower pace worked for them, said Thema Bryant, president-elect of the American Psychological Association and a professor of psychology at Pepperdine University. Now, with nearly 60 percent of the country fully vaccinated and restrictions loosened, all the things we took a pass on last year seem to be roaring back — and many are feeling uncomfortably out of practice when it comes to social situations. Not everyone, it turns out, is ready to party like it’s 2019.

“After being isolated for so many months, I found I needed baby steps to reintegrate,” said Dalia MacPhee, a fashion designer in Los Angeles. At first, MacPhee said, she “felt like Tom Hanks’s character from ‘Cast Away’ as he re-enters society. I’m definitely feeling some social anxiety.”