Sometimes, even the longest, most loving relationships can end.
The reasons may vary. People grow apart. Mistakes are made. Trust is broken.
And then there are instances when the breakup is no one’s fault, the result of circumstances beyond either party’s control.
Philip Rivers never sought to break up with San Diego. Likewise, San Diego wanted to hold onto him forever.
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And that’s what made this so hard. When the Chargers moved to Los Angeles, Rivers’ relationship with San Diego instantly changed forever.
“He was not just the captain of our football team, he was the captain of that city for a long time,” said former Chargers teammate and close friend, Nick Hardwick. “As Philip went, the city went.”
The relationship changed. But it never really ended. Oh, San Diego has plenty of vitriol for the Chargers organization. Owner Dean Spanos is persona non grata in that town. But the relationship with the players, that was always different. The foundation was much too strong.
“San Diego has loyal fans,” said LaDainian Tomlinson, Rivers’ Hall-of-Fame former teammate and current NFL Network analyst. “They love their teams. But when you display the passion, that championship mettle to compete, when they can see that and you wear it on your sleeve as Philip does, you can’t help but embrace him and be all in and support him no matter what.”
It’s been a while since Rivers played in San Diego. The Chargers left in 2017, opting to exist in a state of football purgatory in Carson, Calif., where they played home games the past three seasons in a soccer stadium filled with their opponents’ rambunctious fans. They’ll finally move to new SoFi Stadium this season. Meanwhile, Rivers is even further removed, taking over as the Colts’ starting quarterback in the wake of Andrew Luck’s sudden retirement last year.
But what happened in San Diego is, perhaps, instructive for Colts fans. San Diego’s undying love for Rivers might foreshadow how Indianapolis will come to feel about him once it truly gets to know him, after it bears witness to that on-field outpouring of emotion that Tomlinson will never forget.
It’s the reason the unbreakable bond with San Diego continues even now.
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“I’ve heard from some of my buddies that the town’s excited and they’ve kind of adopted the Colts,” said Rivers, the Chargers’ career leader in passing yards (59,271) and touchdown passes (397).
Rivers has moved clear across the country, but he brought with him the hearts of those in San Diego who love and adore him.
For Colts fans to understand why that is, they must first understand Rivers.
Rivers was never cut out for Southern California when the Chargers drafted him in 2004. What 22-year old country kid from Alabama would be?
“I would have never picked San Diego,” said Rivers, 38. “Shoot, the West Coast? I couldn’t even draw it on a map.”
Tomlinson, who’d been transplanted from Texas, was growing accustomed to life in paradise when Rivers arrived. Rivers eventually would, too, but he’d only go so far in his effort to assimilate.
“It was evident in the way he dressed, to be honest,” Tomlinson said. “Jeans, a big belt buckle and boots – in San Diego! Most of us were adjusting to flip flops and beach shorts.”
But a fashion faux pas is easily forgivable when you endear yourself to a fan base the way Rivers did. People loved his corniness, embracing every “dadgum” and “golly” he served up. They also loved the dichotomy between his on- and off-field personas. Rivers is among the fiercest competitors you’ll find, the rare quarterback who trash talks opponents – with vigor. He’s started 211 consecutive games because sitting on the sideline is tantamount to depriving him of oxygen.
Which brings us to the defining image of Rivers’ career. It happened on an unforgettable afternoon in January 2008 in the final game played in the RCA Dome. That’s when Rivers left an AFC Divisional playoff game against the Colts with a knee injury. As the team’s medical staff assessed it on the sideline, it became clear: Rivers likely had torn his ACL. To which Rivers said, in effect, who cares?
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“He said, ‘I wanna keep playing,’ ” former Chargers team doctor David Chao said. “I told him, ‘No! You can’t.’ But he was insisting, ‘Let’s go do something. Let’s try.’ ”
Off to the locker room they went. That’s when that long walk off the field commenced, Rivers trudging past Colts fans who delighted in taunting the outspoken quarterback.
“They’re yelling, ‘F you, and all this stuff,” Chao said. “But you know, Philip doesn’t swear. All he said was, ‘Don’t you worry. I’ll be back! But it kind of looked on camera like he was doing all this Jay Cutler stuff.”
The finger-pointing and yelling didn’t play well in Indianapolis, but it certainly was a hit in San Diego. It only made Rivers seem more lovable to people who already loved him dearly.
The Chargers went on to win, 28-24, without Rivers, with backup Billy Volek filling in. That touched off a wild celebration back in San Diego. When the team plane landed, fans lined the streets on the route to the team facility. The team buses could barely navigate through the mass of humanity. What normally was a short ride took nearly two hours.
“They were banging on the buses,” Hardwick said. “It was a riot. And it was so much fun. It was incredible.”
Meanwhile, Rivers was focused not on the celebration, but on what was next. He was making plans to play in the AFC Championship Game against the Patriots the following week, even in the face of medical advice to the contrary.
In the end, Rivers gave the go-ahead to have his meniscus surgically repaired the next day – it also was injured and was forcing his knee to remain locked – and the team outfitted him in a special brace to protect his knee against the Patriots.
“He convinced himself to play in a championship game with a torn ACL. That’s bonkers, right?” Hardwick said. “He said, ‘You know, this doesn’t really hurt.’ And he believed it.”
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The Chargers lost, but the whole story was vintage Rivers and added to his legend. It remains one of his greatest displays of passion.
“One of the things he said that was interesting to me was, ‘Who knows? I don’t know when I’ll ever get a chance again. I’m playing in this game,’ ” Chao said.
San Diego’s embrace grew tighter through the whole series of events. But bonds were built in other ways, too – like through the charitable efforts of Rivers and his wife Tiffany.
One interesting story surrounds their former organization, the Rivers of Hope Foundation. It sought to help abandoned and orphaned children find permanent homes, and had doled out more than $1 million to local agencies in the process.
And one day in 2013, out of nowhere, the Rivers family closed up shop.
Why walk away from an organization that was making an immeasurable difference for a cause close to their hearts? Because they preferred to conduct their charitable work more privately.
Oh, the work didn’t stop. It just happened on a need-to-know basis.
The decision, Rivers said then, “takes us out of the public eye and puts the kids center stage.”
That’s how a guy who could never envision himself in California became someone San Diego couldn’t imagine living without.
J.D. DeOcampo has spent most of his 31 years loving the Chargers.
His first memory as a fan came in January 1995. He can still recall his family’s delirious backyard celebration the day the Chargers advanced to Super Bowl XXIX with a stunning 17-13 win over the Steelers. They later piled in the car and headed off to what was then known as Jack Murphy Stadium to greet the team. A capacity crowd packed the place.
“There were 75,000 people,” DeOcampo said.
He was 4 years old then, an infant Chargers fan who would grow into a rabid and raving follower of the team.
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“About 75 percent of my wardrobe was Chargers gear,” DeOcampo said.
Most of his favorite Chargers memories involve Rivers. That’s true for a lot of San Diego residents, but it’s also what makes their current reality so complicated.
The history of the Chargers’ departure from San Diego is a long and painful story locals don’t care to rehash. It boils down to the failure of Spanos and city officials to agree on a financing plan for a new stadium. Once it became clear Spanos had one foot out the proverbial door, a ballot referendum proposing a tax hike to build a downtown stadium was soundly defeated in 2016. The team’s move became all but inevitable that day.
The Chargers had played in San Diego since 1961 but, in a flash, they were off to Los Angeles – adding insult to injury. San Diego is often overlooked in the region, but it prides itself on having its own identity in expansive Southern California. The Chargers were a sizable part of that.
But Spanos moved the team and never looked back. Overnight, they became the Los Angeles Chargers. Really?
To tell the truth, they might as well have moved to Mars.
“The analogy I’d use is, let’s call the Chargers the dad and the city of San Diego and its politicians the mom, and we’re all the children,” Chao said. “Mom and dad weren’t getting along. They were destined for divorce. Dad decided to get a divorce and marry L.A. And as a kid, I don’t begrudge him that he needs to move on and be happy. … But what I don’t understand is how you don’t tell your kids you still love them and say come visit me or send a Christmas card. (Spanos) just turned his back.
“But Philip never did that.”
A friend invited DeOcampo to the team’s first game in Carson. It didn’t go well. Or did it?
“That was the day I realized the team was dead to me,” DeOcampo said. “I enjoyed watching them lose to the Chiefs that day. And I enjoyed watching the Chiefs fans take over their stadium.”
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DeOcampo now says he’s a Colts fan by virtue of Rivers’ signing with the team. And he’s not alone.
“I would just say open that bandwagon for San Diego fans,” he said, “because we’re coming.”
Rivers famously maintained his residence in San Diego for the three seasons he played in Los Angeles, commuting up to two hours each way in a customized van with a driver to avoid moving Tiffany and their nine children.
It was a family decision, not one made for public relations. But it kept the Rivers family connected to San Diego. The fans there still viewed him – strangely, weirdly – as one of them.
“I certainly do feel like the city did appreciate that,” Rivers said. “My love for the town and how they welcomed my family to a place we called home for that long was real. I do think in the last couple of years, that kept the tie to San Diego more real because I was still around all season and still coaching in flag football and still around in the community just like I was in the years before.”
But after the team departed, articulating those feelings became an awkward, uncomfortable dance.
“People felt like it was either San Diego or the Chargers,” Tomlinson said. “It was like you had to pick a side.”
That’s why when Bill Johnston approached Rivers last year about accepting an award from the San Diego Sports Association, Rivers was conflicted. Attending the gala would mean giving an acceptance speech before a crowd of people who had made him feel at home for so long. At the same time, he represented the franchise that had left an entire community crushed.
“When I told Philip about it, he was hesitant to attend,” said Johnston, the association’s chairman and the Chargers’ former director of public relations. “It was honestly a very last-minute thing when he let me know he could come. He told me he knew it was gonna be an emotional experience for him. And that wasn’t something he knew if he was ready to go through.”
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Added Rivers: “I try to be this ultimate team guy. And our team was now the Los Angeles Chargers. Being one of the leaders on the team and with the Spanos family, I wanted to be respectful of that. But at the same time, I felt like it was appropriate to have an opportunity in front of a couple of hundred people in the community to just try to express my gratitude and thankfulness.”
Rivers sat down and wrote out a speech. The words flowed freely. He knew just what to say, even if delivering the words would prove to be a different matter.
When the evening arrived, Rivers stepped up to the lectern and looked into the sea of familiar faces. The emotions immediately started rushing in.
He began by first mentioning the elephant in the room.
“I certainly understand the mixed feelings and emotions that many here in San Diego have about our move,” Rivers said. “It’s more than understandable.”
The audience listened intently, invested in every word, just as it once was invested in every Chargers win and loss.
Soon, Rivers’ voice began to crack.
“Those who stay and cheer for us every week, we certainly appreciate it,” he said. “I can’t personally express my gratitude for all the love and support that I’ve always felt in and around town, whenever I’m out and about.”
Applause ensued. Rivers paused, took a deep breath and continued to choke back tears.
Then he punctuated his remarks with a line that brought the house down and prompted a standing ovation.
“As I trot out there each Sunday with that bolt on my helmet and 17 on my back, play like crazy with that passion and fight, the only way I know how, hopefully, there’s some of you still here in San Diego who can still say, ‘That’s our quarterback.’ ”
On Sunday, when the 2020 season kicks off, Colts fans will be able to say the same.
The people of San Diego would tell them that’s a privilege.
(Top photo of Rivers: Sean M. Haffey / Getty Images)