There Is No Magical Way to Overcome Fear

This essay is part of a series called The Big Ideas, in which writers respond to a single question: What do we fear? You can read more by visiting The Big Ideas series page.

What’s worse: the fear of dying or the fear of not living? As a stunt double, my job was to be the living embodiment of many people’s fears. But I wasn’t born fearless.

During my childhood, I discovered that gymnastics was the perfect sport to help me overcome my fears and anxieties. I started at age 5, and the lessons I learned as a young athlete helped me throughout my life.

Once, I was learning a discipline called the pirouette on the parallel bars. The technique required swinging up to a handstand and performing a 180-degree turn across the two bars before coming back down again. After some initial failed attempts, I started to cry. My coach, Nick Inns, turned to me and said, “Don’t go home without attempting the pirouette again. Because if you don’t, you’ll be scared of it forever.” Still shaking with fear, I tried again, this time executing the move perfectly.

Then, at 14, I landed a stunt double role in the movie “Lost in Space.” (I had auditioned because my gymnastics coach at the time, Jeff Hewitt-Davis, also worked as a stunt double.) On the film set, my bravery was celebrated, and I learned this was a viable career option. I fell in love with moviemaking. I also fell in love with the adulation I earned after executing a stunt. It was very different from the applause I’d heard during gymnastics competitions. The shouts and cheers were more visceral.