After a Breakup, Does an Ex Get to Stay on Your Grid?

Picture this: Your relationship is over. Now what? You probably let your close friends and family know, as well as your therapist, who will shepherd your healing journey. You might even turn to Spotify, Shakespeare or the StairMaster to cope.

Eventually, you’ll delete or hide away (“archive,” to use Instagram’s preferred term) every trace of your ex on your Instagram and other social media profiles. Or you won’t, choosing instead to leave the photos and videos of your past lover on your page. What do you do with the footprints of your relationship on Instagram once it’s over? There’s no right or wrong move. It really depends on whom you ask.

Averee Conkle, a human resources worker in Denver, said that she had removed every single ex from her Instagram page, which she likes to keep filled mostly with images of people who still mean a lot to her, like friends and family.

“I think if it would have maybe ended differently or things like that, I would have a different thought process behind it,” said Ms. Conkle, 26, who added that she hadn’t dated many very nice guys. “But from the boyfriends that I have had, I don’t think they deserve a spot on there.”

“Now, maybe the healed version of me wouldn’t care as much,” she added. “But the way things ended, I would just rather it’s out of sight, out of mind, and then I can just move on.”

The home of the “hard launch,” the Instagram grid has become the way many people announce their major life updates: a new relationship, an engagement, a marriage. And with the introduction of other features like Instagram Stories, which allows users to post photos and videos that disappear after 24 hours, the weight of the grid has become that much heavier.