Jimmy Fallon Cheers Colorado for ‘Illegalizing’ Trump

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Banned in Colorado

Colorado’s top court on Tuesday ruled that former President Donald Trump was disqualified from returning to office, banning him from its primary ballot based on Section 3 of the 14th Amendment, which disallows candidates who engage in insurrection against the Constitution.

Jimmy Fallon joked about the timing of the news, saying, “Christmas is almost here, and people are already returning gifts. In fact, last night Colorado returned Donald Trump.”

“You got to give it up for Colorado — they’re the first state to legalize weed and illegalize Trump.” — JIMMY FALLON

“Yeah, they banned him from the ballot. If Trump ends up winning in 2024, don’t be surprised if Colorado suddenly becomes East Utah.” — JIMMY FALLON

“Yep, Colorado decided that Trump is disqualified from being president ’cause his role in the Jan. 6 attack violated the U.S. Constitution’s insurrection clause. Yep, before last night, Trump thought ‘the insurrection clause’ was one of those Tim Allen movies on Disney+.” — JIMMY FALLON

“The insurrection clause is in the 14th Amendment, which was ratified in 1868. Right now, President Biden’s like, ‘I supported it then, and I support it now.’” — JIMMY FALLON

“You go, Colorado. Just goes to show you can make good decisions when you’re high.” — STEPHEN COLBERT

“The reason the court kicked Trump off the ballot is the 14th Amendment’s so-called insurrection clause, which states that no one can hold an office of the United States if they ‘have engaged in insurrection or rebellion against the same or given aid or comfort to the enemies thereof.’ The insurrection, in this case, is Jan. 6, and ‘aid and comfort to our enemies’ is his side hustle.” — STEPHEN COLBERT

“The Colorado Supreme Court ruled yesterday that former President Trump is ineligible to run again for president, while the Florida Supreme Court ruled he already won.” — SETH MEYERS

The Punchiest Punchlines (Paraphrasing Hitler Edition)

“After facing comparisons to Adolf Hitler, former President Trump said yesterday that immigrants are destroying the blood of our country and added, ‘They said, “Oh, Hitler said that in a much different way.”’ But you’ve already lost the argument if you have to say, ‘Guys, I wasn’t quoting Hitler — I was paraphrasing him.’” — SETH MEYERS

“That’s right, after facing comparisons to Adolf Hitler, Trump said that immigrants are destroying the blood of our country and added, ‘I’ve never read “Mein Kampf.”’ Yeah, no one thought you had. I’d be surprised if you read ‘The Art of the Deal.’” — SETH MEYERS

“[imitating Trump] Everyone is saying that I’ve read ‘Mein Kampf,’ but that is a lie: I reached the same conclusions as Hitler independently. And while I’ve got your attention — folks, hold on — while I’ve got your attention, and I’m just spitballin’ here, what say we invade Poland?” — STEPHEN COLBERT

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