Twitter is an ass. Well, its “Karen” algorithm is an ass.
Ten days ago, the social-media giant suspended my account for an allegedly “hateful” post. I had sarcastically responded to a user who recommended that the United States “wait out” Russian President Vladimir Putin after I suggested that President Joe Biden call Congress’ and the right’s bluff on a no-fly zone by asking for a declaration of war.
I promptly received an e-mail saying, “Your account, @SquarePegDem, has been locked for violating the Twitter Rules.” I stood accused by faceless artificial intelligence of “violating our rules against hateful conduct.”
Twitter says its users may not “promote violence against, threaten or harass” others based on their race, ethnicity, national origin, sexual orientation, gender identity, etc.
My supposedly “hateful conduct”? Posting: “Of course, only Ukrainians need die.”
How any reasonable person or AI makes the leap that those six words constitute hateful speech is beyond me.
Nonetheless, I was given the opportunity to make things right — by deleting the offending tweet that wasn’t offensive in the first place.
If I delete the offending tweet, Twitter will unlock my account and I will be free to post my thoughts about movies, crime in the subway and how transgenderism is erasing biological women (in service to troubled men).
Sarcasm and context elude the ones and zeroes programmed by Twitter-appointed nannies and speech police kowtowing to a minority of users who constantly bray about safe spaces, fake news and honoring their absurd truths.
As a result, I’m now in the company of my own employer — The New York Post — as well as The Babylon Bee and thousands of Twitter users who have unjustly had their accounts suspended.
For two weeks in October 2020, Twitter locked The Post’s account over alleged “fake news” concerns resulting from the paper’s publication of stories based on documents from Hunter Biden’s laptop. That was an act of censorship and a pernicious suppression of real news during a contested presidential election.
Twitter suspended The Bee’s account this week for a post that irreverently named Dr. Rachel Levine, the transgender US assistant secretary for health, “Man of the Year.” The post was funny but not as humorous as the National Organization for Women and USA Today celebrating the male-born Levine during Women’s History Month.
Like The Babylon Bee’s editors, I’m in a limbo from which I can only emerge if I “bend the knee” to the social-media giant’s demand that I plead guilty to a crime I didn’t commit.
Trust me, I won’t be bending the knee or pledging fealty to an absurd process out of fear of no longer being able to tweet.
Twitter’s appeal process is opaque and has a star-chamber-like quality. After filing my initial appeal March 13 at 4:30 a.m., a few minutes after my suspension, I got an e-mail six hours later declaring: “Our support team has determined that a violation did take place, and therefore we will not overturn our decision.”
I imagined the “support team,” dressed in gray hooded robes, with crossed arms scowling down at me from on high and chanting, “Delete, delete, delete.”
I won’t define being locked out of my Twitter account as censorship.
Big Tech censorship is what happened to my newspaper and The Babylon Bee. What happened to me is just plain “Karenesque” stupidity.
I guess I could play the race card and accuse Twitter’s tribunal and AI of “white privilege” — I mean, Big Tech is predominantly populated by whites and “white-adjacent” others, right?
I will admit that being off Twitter for more than a week has been kind to my wrists — and majorly helpful to my Call of Duty: Mobile gaming. If I’m barred for another week, I should achieve Master II level in ranked play.
During this lockout period, sadly, scores more Ukrainians have been killed and hundreds of thousands displaced amid Russia’s merciless onslaught, while the United States and Europe wait out an increasingly irrational Vladimir Putin — who, it seems, still has an active Twitter account.
While Twitter waits on my resolve to weaken, I’ll continue to delight in blasting Putin’s CoDM avatar, Yegor.
And pray no more Ukrainians die while the West dithers.
Michael Benjamin is a member of The Post’s editorial board.
