If your husband is playing online poker until four a.m., getting up at six to run five miles — and starts patting his bald spot as though he’s got magic, hair-growing fingers — throw him out.
There’s no doubt but that the former fatty is having an affair. Or even more pathetic, a virtual affair that he somehow thinks will turn real.
As told in tonight’s Lifetime movie, “talhotblond” — based on a true story — he somehow thinks, in fact, that the woman he’s having virtual sex with actually is a tall, hot blond. Think again.
The man in question is Thomas Montgomery, an upstate New York factory worker, a former (very former) Marine and husband and father of two who falls in love with an 18-year-old blond high school senior in his poker chat room. They carry on a hot, online relationship.
When Thomas is caught by his wife, his lover — with the screen name “talhotblond” — gravitates to another poker-room friend, who happens to be Montgomery’s much-younger co-worker.
Driven into a jealous rage, Montgomery dresses up in his old Marine fatigues and kills his co-worker.
Let’s just say the woman got both men to play the hand they were dealt.
Pun intended.
Tonight, “Cougar Town” star Courteney Cox makes her long-form directorial debut in this riveting tale that true-crime junkies will love.
The movie stars Garrett Dillahunt as Montgomery (terrible moustache, aviators and all); my personal fave, Laura San Giacomo, as his wife; and Brian (Brando Eaton) as the co-worker/victim.
It’s not just a cautionary tale, but also a scary one.
After nearly twenty years of marriage, Carol and Thomas are living a typical suburban life but not having much fun.
They are over-worked, their attention is only on their kids and neither one looks so hot anymore.
When Thomas’ poker buddies tell him to start playing online poker, he’s immediately hooked — but not as hooked on Texas Hold ’Em as he is on holding the young, beautiful girl he meets in the chat room.
Thomas posts a 20-year-old picture of himself and calls himself “Tommy,” masquerading as an 18-year-old Marine who’s about to ship out to Afghanistan.
And “talhotblond” falls hard for her soldier boy. She even says “yes” when he asks her to marry him — and, mind you, they’ve never even met.
The most amazing part of the story?
Turns out it was fantasy on both sides — because“talhotblond” is not who she said she was, either — just disgustingly close.
Check this one out.