I’ve been dating a girl for six months. I love her — but I also love the New York Giants. I let her know about my passion, and all seemed fine until I told her I couldn’t attend her best friend’s wedding since it conflicted with a game. I refuse to DVR games and even have online chat sessions during them. I feel if she really loved me, she’d allow me my time and space on game days. If she liked to shop with her friends on Sundays, I would have no problem with her doing so. I told her to invite another male friend, but if she wants to cease the relationship on this nonsense, so be it. I refuse to let her deprive me of my passion for the Big Blue! Is that so insane?
— Mike, 38
OK, first of all, if you really loved her, then you would not suggest that she bring another male friend to her best friend’s wedding in place of you. While I fully understand your passion for the Giants, I think you’re being a bit irrational and selfish. This isn’t just a “girls shopping” Sunday. It’s her best friend’s wedding.
From what you’ve told me, it sounds like she gives you your space every Sunday, no questions asked. And I don’t know many women who would do even that, so you have to get your priorities straight. “Big Blue” isn’t going to take care of you — especially in the bedroom!
You are 38 years old, so I’m going to guess you’ve been in this situation before and that you know relationships are all about compromise. But if you have no intention of ever compromising when it comes to your precious Giants, the odds of you ever finding a woman to put up with this or any other boyish behavior, for that matter, are slim.
DVR is not the end of the world. We’re lucky to have such inventive modern technology. It’s enabled grown-ups with real-world responsibilities to take care of what they need to when they might otherwise be glued to the TV. What if your future wife happens to go into labor on a game day? Are you going to miss your kid’s birth just to watch that one game? I’d hope not!
I realize it’s not ideal with games, but if you feel it’s more important to chat online with strangers rather than make someone you love happy, then prepare to settle down with the only “partners” who will have you: a group of grunting, sweaty footballers who don’t even know your name.
I’d say I’m average-looking and my friends tell me I am a great person. Although I’ve been in three real relationships, it’s hard for me to maintain one due to several health problems: I am diabetic, have issues seeing in dark places, am hard of hearing in one ear and snore very badly. I take meds, watch my diet and am in pretty good shape, but it’s hard finding someone who can tolerate the other issues. I would love to find someone to share my life with, but how do I do that when I’ve got this baggage?
— Jeff, 43
The problem isn’t that you have ailments, the problem is that you make these ailments the problem! I have an English and a French bulldog who probably snores just as loud, if not louder, than you and I don’t have any problems with them sleeping next to me because I love them enough to deal with it. Have you ever used a sound machine? With the sounds of sexy thunderstorms and a pillow between you, I’m pretty sure it won’t be your snoring that’ll keep her awake…
As far as the hearing, I know a hearing device may not be the sexiest accessory, but they make them so small these days, you can barely even see them.
With regard to not being able to see so well in the dark, use it to your advantage — especially in the bedroom! Touch is powerful, so how about making a game of it? Give her a blindfold so that you’re both “in the dark!” I bet the physical sensations are heightened to the max.
If you think you’re worth loving, than she’ll see that and find it sexy!
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