It’s with great relief that I welcomed the opening of “Spider-Man: Turn Off the Dark.” Now the reviews are out, including mine, and the past year or so feels like a surrealistic dream. Now it’s time to look ahead and wonder about the future of “Spider-Man.”
At $70 million, the show’s budget is rather large. The weekly running costs are about $1.2 million, so in order to recoup the show needs to run at capacity every single week. So far, it hasn’t. And after today’s mixed reviews, one has to wonder if it ever will.
Flash-forward to a fantasy land set, let’s say, three years from now. “Spider-Man” has managed to hang on at the Foxwoods but the crowds have dwindled. My suggestion: call it a loss and move to the ever-popular New World Stages! If it’s good enough for Broadway refugees “The 39 Steps,” “Avenue Q” and “Million Dollar Quartet” (which is moving there in July, just before “Rent”), it should be good enough for “Spider-Man.”
Clearly there won’t be any space for elaborate flying stunts in “Spider-Man 3.0” but that’s OK: They’re overrated anyway. The producers can call John Doyle, who handled the minimalist revivals of “Sweeney Todd” and “Company,” and have him do to the current version what Roberto Aguirre-Sacasa and Philip Wm. McKinley did to Julie Taymor’s: nip, tuck, streamline — streamline a lot.
Reeve Carney was in a rock band before getting the lead role, so he may be able to play his own guitar. That’s one less orchestra salary to worry about. In fact, there won’t be an orchestra anymore. Bono and The Edge are rockers and rockers have bands, not orchestras. Five pieces will do.
“Spider-Man 3.0” can also recycle the cardboard cutouts currently used in the scene where Spidey saves a baby. The toy subway train that crosses the stage will look gigantic at the new 50th St. home. In order to save money, the Sinister Six could become the Terrible Threes, just like Peter could be bullied by one high-school delinquent instead of a whole gang of them. You just need that one bad seed to make someone’s life miserable after all.
In the spirit of both cutting costs and injecting still more comic relief, Green Goblin could run amok in a Key Food (rendered in painted backdrops) instead of climbing to the top of the Chrysler Building.
And because Arachne needs a big web thingie, she will be cut entirely and replaced by a much simpler guardian angel for Peter. A ladybug would do the trick: It’s friendly and doesn’t need a cumbersome set or weaving acolytes — the ladybug is cute, modest and works alone.
Who knows: At New World Stages, the show may actually make money.