It was inevitable that the NFL would provoke the wrath of Refund, God of Tickets. You don’t tug on Superman’s cape, you don’t spit into the wind and you don’t mess around with Refund.
Imagine spending, oh, $50,000 for two PSLs and two tickets to Jets games, this glorious Jets season, and being hit with a Thanksgiving night game, other night games, 4:15 starts (more night games) and game-day weather so colossally odd that you’d draw lots to see who walks the dog.
Of course, if you bought your PSLs early based on the Jets’ claims that they were nearly sold out — a bogus claim the Jets continue to make — you paid a lot more than those wise enough not to believe the Jets, yet still not wise enough to reject the chance to assume some of the mortgage payments on a new stadium that wasn’t asked for or needed.
In Minnesota over the weekend, Refund also threw his weight around. He messed up the NFL’s sacred, TV-money-first schedule, messed with tickets and ticket money. He turned the Giants-Vikings game into an expensive, Detroit-bound calamity.
The Vikings, as Refund knows, are one of those teams that will not sell individual-game, regular-season tickets unless one buys the same number of tickets to preseason games.
In other businesses that’s called extortion; it’s a felony.
Refund the wrathful this weekend fired one across the bow of the NFL. Refund is not happy with commissioner Roger Goodell’s claim that PSLs “are a good investment,” nor with Goodell’s claim that the NFL is “all about the fans.”
Refund doesn’t like it when you pull his leg. This weekend, he pulled back. He was overdue.
Look-at-me moments win the day
The stench that lingered above, under and through Saturday’s Heisman Trophy ceremony on ESPN was just that — a stench. Had the ceremony been held atop a septic tank, the affair would have been no less palatable.
As it was, reader Robert Friant noted that Cam Newton was bestowed the Heisman in a venue named the “Best Buy Theater.”
But what we call our “Sports Culture” continues its free-fall.
In Orlando, Fla., on Friday, Glades Day High School defeated Warner Christian, 42-35, in Florida’s Class 1B football championship. Glades Day was led by sophomore RB Kevin Taylor. The son of NFL RB Fred Taylor ran for 248 yards and scored five TDs.
And no one was more impressed with Kevin Taylor than Kevin Taylor. With 2:30 left, he scored the go-ahead TD, then was ejected for his second penalty for excessive celebration.
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In the Bengals’ first possession against the Steelers yesterday, there was a pass thrown to RB Cedric Benson at midfield, a play that ended in viewer confusion. Did Benson fumble? Was he ruled down? Was the pass ruled complete? But CBS was wedded to showing still pictures of Pittsburgh’s starting defense.
Reader Bill Fleming wonders about the state of National (League) security. How, he wonders, was the Milwaukee Brewers’ second baseman able to get hold of all those secret government documents? Isn’t it time to stop Rickie Weeks?
One more reminder: MLB Network’s very special special on Game 7 of the 1960 World Series airs Wednesday at 8 p.m.
Wild things: First, St. Peter’s beats Alabama, then Fordham defeats St. John’s. And it’s early in the season.
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CBS’s Dan Dierdorf calls NFL games — Bengals-Steelers yesterday — as if he’s an airport public address voice.
CBS’s Dan Fouts should’ve stuck with his original angle yesterday: Jets coach Rex Ryan has a poor grasp of when and how to use timeouts.
This from Showtime boxing analyst and light heavyweight champ Antonio Tarver: “Boxing is the only sport you don’t play. . . . You play football, basketball. You don’t play boxing . . . It ain’t a game.”
Prof. Mike uniquely uninformed
Professa Mike Francesa was at his see-through best on Friday. Addressing the Cliff Lee hunt, he said that Lee has “fungibility.” Then, His Highness’s sense of noblesse oblige kicked in. He explained the word’s meaning to his audience of serfs, peons, vassals and the ill-bred.
Fungibility, said Fran-say-so, means “uniqueness, unique.”
Gong! It not only doesn’t mean unique, it means almost the opposite. Fungibility means to possess such similar qualities that the items can be interchangeable.
Francesa, apparently having been informed off-air of his error, later tried to re-explain fungibility, as if he knew its meaning but might have left his audience of sloggers and grunts confused — as if we misheard and he didn’t misspeak. But his protracted, contradictory explanation just dug him deeper.
He might have said, “You know, my definition of fungibility, earlier, was wrong” and been done with it. Fat chance.
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Can’t make this stuff up, continued: ESPN’s website last week, in a lead paragraph, gave ESPN full credit for breaking the story that the Yankees have extended Cliff Lee an extra seventh year on their offer. In the third paragraph, this appeared: “SI.com first reported that the Yankees added a seventh year to their offer.”
CBS’s Army-Navy pregame shows remain special. No glitz, just damned good storytelling.
New Nets’ radio pregame and postgame host Seth Everett has a way with words. Thursday on WFAN, after noting that the Nets’ Devin Harris left the game injured and Derrick Favors didn’t play because of an injury, Everett said New Jersey had to play Dallas “under-handed.”
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Strong feature on Fox’s pregame yesterday, with rules man Mike Pereira explaining the cans and can’ts of pick plays — another play or rule paid experts holler about without bothering to learn.
Nice warm stuff from Fox yesterday afternoon on a 21-year-old single mother playing in a PokerStars.net tournament. Awww.