Dear Post Man:
I am totally at a loss. I work as a waiter in a hotel and have been dating a girl who works as a waitress in the same hotel.
Originally we were just friends. I helped her settle into the place and coached her. When I got to know her better, she told me she had a boyfriend of eight years and they are engaged. About 2 months ago we fell in love and have been dating since. We kiss all the time – which is a whole other problem, ‘cuz if we get caught there’ll be trouble!
We don’t see much of each other when we’re done working because of the boyfriend, but I’m good with it a or I should say I used to be. I’m getting fed up! I’d love to see her outside of work, doing, you know, romantic things. We have talked about sex and she thinks it is too early still.
I love her so much and am willing to wait for her. My questions are: Do you think this is gonna last? When will I get some sex? She told me she cannot call it quits with her boyfriend, but if I mess it up, I think it’ll be hard working with her.
Sit down dude. Actually, lie down, and put your feet up. Hopefully, you have a laptop.
She’s got a boyfriend of eight years – a FIANCÉ. She has flat out told you she ain’t leaving him. I am going to go out on a limb and say she’s in out for one last fling. Whether or not that includes sex is anyone’s guess.
I don’t know how many times I have said DON’T DATE AT WORK, but I would like to tag a little extra on to that: Don’t date people you work with that are engaged, married or carrying an AK-47 under a trench coat. You are quite right, it is going to be hard working with her, but the situation you are in is completely masochistic, and no good can come of it.
End it now. Tell her you want to be friends, but that you have to respect that she has a fiancé. Explain that you are looking for something more and she obviously can’t be that.
You will never meet anyone else unless you stop this relationship, and, in the long run, you have the most to lose here. So before you lose your dignity, your sanity and your job, get out of this “relationship” as quickly and non-dramatically as possible. Try to stay friends if you can, but if you can’t, be friendly and professional at work, and stay as far away from her as possible.