US News

WEIRD BUT TRUE

If they ever launch a show called “America’s Dumbest Crooks,” Aaron Bell would be the star.

After the 19-year-old fast-food cook decided to pull an armed robbery, he hit the same KFC store where he works – and didn’t wear a mask or try to hide his face, cops said.

Bell didn’t even get any money – because the safe he allegedly tried to force his boss to open was time-locked.

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An NHL goalie saved the day when he stopped the puck – by catching it in his pants.

Tommy Salo – a former Islander star – helped the Edmonton Oilers beat the Minnesota Wild 2-1 when the puck bounced off his jersey and flew under his waistband.

Salo’s coach, Craig MacTavish said, “Tommy pulled one out of his pants. I don’t even want to guess where that puck finally ended up.”

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The sports program at a Montana school really went to the dogs when a playful pit bull tried to jump into a lunchtime game of football and ended up injuring 26 kids.

“The dog wasn’t attacking kids. The dog was actually playing tug-of-war. It’s a big pup, a year old, and very friendly,” said Ken Foss, principal of the Asa Wood Elementary School.

Still, not all the kids knew that – and there were plenty of scratches and bruises, as well as torn coats and pants, as they tried to get away.

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What an un-beer-able loss! That was the feeling among drinkers in Davenport, Iowa, after a Budweiser truck slammed into a low-clearance overpass and spilled hundreds of gallons of beer.

So, yes, the ice-cold beer was flowing – but it was headed straight for the city’s storm drains. (m, s)

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Something finally got a rise out of them!

The early-morning cock-a-doodle-dooing of their two pet roosters never bothered Kelly and Howard Brown of Seymour, Conn. They slept right through it.

But the predawn jangling of their phone – compliments of two angry neighbors – has them unnerved. The Browns are hauling them into court, charging them with harassment.

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A beer and a shot had tragic consequences for two Texas men.

A jury yesterday sentenced Steven Brasher, 42, to life in prison for shooting to death longtime pal Willie Lawson, 39, for drinking his last beer Nov. 5, 2001. “There was only two beers left, so I took one, and I told Willie not to take my last beer,” Brasher said in a taped statement played during the trial. Testimony showed Brasher shot his boozing buddy in the head after the two argued over the beer. Brasher said it was an accident. (lcf)