Aids, Fear must not win

In preparing for this article, I attempted to find some Italians 30 or younger, that would be willing to tell me their story and explain how life is for them as HIV+ young people today. I started my search with Julian Fleet, a former UNAIDS director and human rights lawyer. Unable to source anyone through his UNAIDS contacts, Fleet contacted LILA whilst I contacted CESVI, an Italian humanitarian organisation. Between all of us, we were unable to find a single person under the age of 45 willing to talk publicly about their condition. In Italy, there are currently around 140,000 people living with HIV. According to recent research conducted by DOXA for CESVI, there are signs of a growing complacency among Italian youth when it comes to protecting themselves from HIV and AIDS. An astonishing 48% of 16 to 35 year old Italians do not practice protected sex. A large amount of them claiming that there is no need as they are in a stable single partner relationship. This justification is dubious but the figures become even more alarming when combined with the statistic that only 29% declared ever having been tested for HIV. According to Chiara Magni from Cesvi Italian youths compared to Zimbabwian or South African’s are far less aware of the consequences of unsafe sex and far more prudish in using protection or admitting it, “In Italy there is stigma, prejudice, fear and it is something that is not talked about”. “In Italy there is no sexual education like in Northern Europe, it’s not talked about at schools and condoms are still perceived as an instrument of devious sex”, says Alessandra Cerioli, President of LILA. “If a girl is found carrying around a condom, at a nightclub for instance, which would be responsible behaviour, she is ridiculed and is perceived as a promiscuous.”

In recent years condoms have become almost a symbol of a responsible sexual behaviour in America. The potential kudos and appropriate marketing of protection seems non existent in Italy. Condom marketing and packaging has proven so successful in the USA that its semantics have been borrowed for branding and selling even chewing gum, as seen in the recent success of the 5 Senses brand.

I finally found a willing interviewee through friends in Milan. A friend was able to introduce me to a 25 year old who was willing to tell his story. Eduardo was born to an HIV+ mother. Before his birth his grandmother had been working in a supermarket, stealing money from the cash register and purchasing hard drugs which she would then sell on at a premium. As a result Eduardo’s mother came into contact with hard drugs at the age of 13. “When my grandfather found out, he reported my grandmother who was arrested and imprisoned. My mother and her younger brother were admitted into a rehabilitation centre for Heroin addiction where she remained for 5 years. She was only 15.” It was there that Eduardo’s mother met his father. They remained together and she gave birth to him at the age of 24. During the pregnancy, she discovered she was HIV+. When Eduardo was 3, she died of AIDS related complications. His father remained HIV negative. His HIV+ status was kept a secret from him his whole childhood. As a result of lack of treatment he became blind. “At the age of 6 I woke up one morning and by the evening I could no longer see. It was as if the lights had been turned off. I remember everything from what things looked like before, I see everything in colour.”

It was not until 15 years old, when researching medicines he was being told to take to restore his sight that he realised he was in fact taking antiretrovirals. After confronting his father he was told of his Mother’s past and his HIV+ status. “Instead of keeping quiet, as my father asked me to do, I told my closest friend. We were sharing a cigaret and I explained everything. She gave me back the cigarette and later that day, asked to give confession to our school priest. She confessed the sin of having shared a cigaret with an HIV+ boy. She told him my name and he gave her her penance. He called a reunion of all the school representatives. He told my story. The principal questioned me to know if I was lying, as an HIV+ student would pose a massive risk to my classmates. I told them I was lying, that I was angry I was blind, that I was a selfish attention seeker and I asked for forgiveness.”

For the following three years, Eduardo spoke to no one in his class as they no longer trusted him. It was at this time that Eduardo realised he was gay. “I have had to be discreet as when you talk about my situation, you are talking about blindness, homosexuality and HIV+ all at the same time. It’s a difficult cocktail”. Not one of those issues in Eduardo’s life were a result of his actions or choices. His social isolation is a totally unjustified one, and the shame he feels should be ours and that of those in positions of authority during his adolescence. The abuses of power from some priests and some school are impossible to justify. Today I sit with Eduardo who has recently graduated in Psychology.

I ask him why he is here, why after years of secrecy he has chosen to speak to me, with such public consequences. “I am here because I am curious. I think that if you do not talk about something, it doesn’t exist. We are in 2014 and there are still many people who cannot imagine that there are cases like mine. If I talk about my situation, I make those issues real and I see now that I can give people the opportunity to broaden their knowledge and tolerance on these issues.” I ask him if he identifies himself as an HIV+ man. “The first thing people have to deal with, with me, is my blindness,” he says “then my homosexuality.” I cannot help but feel sad for him as although he considers his non identification as an HIV+ man as a strength, I think it was never an option. “Are you part of a community of HIV+ people?” I ask him, to which he replies no. “Is world AIDS day important to you?” he says no, “do you know what world AIDS day is?” “No,” he says “I’ve never been to it”.

“Being openly HIV+ in Italy is not simple, because you are still seen by many as being a person who has behaved despicably” says Alessandra Cerioli. “Upon discovering their status, people often auto discriminate. We (LILA) need people to come forward now and speak as we want to fight discrimination in the workplace. We even had two cases of men fired from an European air company for being HIV+ and we were ready to sue and win on behalf of the former employees but they refused, for fear of going public with their condition.”

“I am happy that we spoke” I say to Eduardo whilst sitting on the couch of my apartment in Milan, “your story is a human one, hard and complicated but people who do not have your condition will understand” He tells me he is afraid none the less. I tell him its ok as he is one among the first young men to tell his story publicly in Italy. He realises this and knows is its important, “but in this instant” he continues I can’t deny that I feel shame and fear”.

Fear is only defeated when confronted. On this World AIDS Day, this 25 year olds story is a remarkable reminder of the consequences of discrimination and isolation. His life has already been full of more challenges than I will ever deal with in the rest of mine. His future is optimistic but one full of terms and conditions. His country, his church his workplace and his friends should serve as nothing but sources of support and strength, anything else would be totally inhumane. How can we seriously help to rectify the devastating epidemic in Sub Saharan Africa, ravaging young woman, children and men, if we cannot tolerate the same issue on our own doorstep?